40+ Things That Prove Riding The Subway Is Anything But Boring
By Israel O
Naturally, weird things tend to happen in dark alleys and places where fewer people tend to congregate. At least, that was what we thought. We could never have imagined that of all places, the subway, which thousands of people use in commuting every day, would be home to the strange. Even stranger is despite the many eyes around, people seem to be oblivious to the out-of-the-ordinary without batting an eye. However, for the sake of those who still commute via the subway, we have taken the liberty of compiling a pretty hilarious list of the most outrageous happenings ever reported on the subway.
Therapist in training?
We’ve all seen Baby Geniuses and Home Alone. Those movies prove that young children can have intelligence far above their age. But an 11-year-old giving emotional advice? At the subway? To adults? He must be really advanced for his age, with wisdom beyond his years.
Even Albert Einstein, one of the most famous geniuses to ever live, must have had a hard time understanding emotions at 11. These people all seem pretty seriously invested in what he has to say. We would like to ask where his parents are, though.
A Robber on the Subway
A man casually sitting in a suit and balaclava would be noticed by most people. We would assume he was planning shady something and immediately take an alternate route to work. Surely he could have found a friendlier-looking way to warm up.
A smart thief would lose the mask so that he can blend in, so we are thinking that this guy here kept his mask on because he lost his coat or something, hoping everyone would just ignore him. The sad news is, they actually did.
Outsmarting the Fox
Now, this is what we call “well played.” Knowing very well that foxes might seem calm, but wild animals can get aggressive in no time. The woman sitting next to this little fox decided not to take any chances and keep her eyes closed and pretend like she’s taking a nice nap.
Make no mistake; foxes don’t make great pets. Asides from the fact that keeping them is expensive since they eat lots of meat, they also smell and can be very aggressive, even to their owners. That’s something you don’t see on the subway every day.
The First Time never goes well
Everyone goes through an awkward first time in everything. But this young schoolgoer pretty much had a rough one if this picture is anything to go by. Playing with the door of a moving train was never going to end well.
His hair got stuck as he kept going back and forth in its clutches. Maybe he was scared that his peers were going to mock him if he called for help, but no one noticed, except for the person who took this photo.
Peacock at the Subway
We understand that over time humans have gotten acclimated to the idea of being around animals. But still, not all animals are meant to be kept as pets, let alone carried around. At least that’s what we thought before seeing this guy.
We wonder where this man is going with this peacock. Maybe to the Bronx Zoo to visit his favorite cousin? Our other question is why is no one staring at the magnificent creature? Their Instagram feeds can’t be more interesting.
Emulating Sleeping Beauty
If Sleeping Beauty was a man, it has to be this guy. We know it’s not intended, but with that pose, he really looks like the famous painting. Looking at how far gone he is, you can tell he had a long night of partying.
Everybody takes a nap while waiting for their stop, but this is more than a nap. He didn’t just sleep; he took off his shirt and his shoes before using the legs of a stranger as a pillow—the perfect setup. At least for him. Not so much for the stranger.
Treebeard, is that you?
If we lived in the fictional world of The Lord of the Rings, a man with a tree head would be nothing to look twice at. But since we live on planet earth and not Middle Earth, we found this very odd indeed.
Even if he was trying to hide a bad hair day, a balaclava like we saw on one of our previous commuters would be a better way to go. More puzzling is the fact that everyone is so involved in their phones and books that no one is paying him the slightest bit of attention.
Computer Head
Before you say anything, we would like to inform you that she’s not one of those villains from Power Rangers. She’s just a young lady who got her wires crossed. Or perhaps she couldn’t decide which headband to wear that day.
Her choice of an old worn-out computer monitor is an eclectic one, worthy of only the most high-fashion runways. Normally, we would ask how her head fit in there, but we’ll pass this time. It’s not right to question someone’s creative process out of nowhere like that.
Lady Gaga impersonator on the Subway
On our usual commute, the type of people we ride with are the type that we would never even look twice at or notice at all. But some people stick out, and even if no one pays them any mind, we like to take the time to notice these colorful characters.
This Lady Gaga-inspired look is one for the books. How can someone look so out there and so comfortable at once is beyond us. This proves that there is no shortage of artistry in this world if you’re looking for it, even on the subway.
Adult Wolf
Yes, we see him too. And if it were Halloween, it would have been completely normal. If it were midnight and there was a full moon, we would have conceded to that as well. But on the morning train into the city? We need answers.
He looks cool, calm, collected, and quite casual, checking his phone without a care. Listen, times are hard, and even werewolves need to get that bread. At least he shaved and put on a nice tie. Looking good, there, buddy.
I am the darkness
Just because we’ve decided to compile a list of weird things on the subway doesn’t mean we can explain them all. Judging by the two ladies next to the Woman in Black, they had a theme when deciding what to wear to the club.
We think we see cat ears atop her head too. Her friends went the straight and narrow route while she’s over here starting trends. We hope she can breathe well, but that material can’t be any thicker than medical masks, amiright?
Like my hat?
Since no one else had raincoats or umbrellas, let’s assume this must be a fashion statement. If we were the man sitting next to him, we might ask a few questions. Why this leaf? Is it your favorite? Do you wear a different leaf every day?
We are operating under the assumption that he is, in fact, aware that he has a leaf on his head. The small smile on his face tells us he does, and is waiting rather impatiently to be asked about it.
Subway Gaming
Since PlayStation kicked things up a notch in the 2000s, the world has seen more gamers than patriots. We didn’t know there were more YouTube videos about gaming than anything else, but you have to give the people what they want.
The amount of dedication, not to mention strength, this took to pull off could only impress us. When we have a long commute, we do the typical scrolling and texting. This guy is ten steps ahead of us, and even got the whole seat section to himself.
Turtle on a Leash
We know we all love our pets, and nothing is more gratifying than the feeling of having them next to you. Most of us are now fantasizing about snuggling with our fluffy cats and dogs, or maybe taking them out to play.
This man probably had neighbors with dogs who walk them in the neighborhood, and he wanted to show off his awesome turtle everywhere he went. Everyone was busy on their phones when they could have watched this fabulous reptile work his runway walk.
Sad Subway
This is why you don’t gamble with money meant for your plane ticket. These Brazil fans landed in Russia thinking they’d win the World Cup, but things didn’t go their way, and they found themselves heading back home earlier than expected.
We admire that they’ve kept their costumes on to keep their spirits up. That’s more than the national team had when they left. But when you’re a real fan, you don’t throw in the inflated dinosaur costume when your team falls on hard times.
Rehearsing in the Subway
We’ve seen a lot of people panic because of an important test but have never seen such dedication. Even after months of research and reading, these young men still had to bring a desk so they could study on the train.
They are clearly ready for whatever they’re on their way to face. We wonder if the guy in the gray suit is the team leader; he oozes confidence. And he whipped out the desk, after all. Dude knows what he’s doing.
Daring the Cops in the Subway
Knowing fully well the CCTV on the subway is working, and the cops are actively watching them, this woman came in with a sarcastic message for everyone to see. This is the kind of thing we would have bought at Hot Topic as teenagers.
This was in China, so many people might have missed out on the joke. But we love the idea of her making eye contact with someone who got it, tossing her sunglasses over her eyes, and strutting away with a smirk.
Space Cube
Those of us who have to ride the subway know that people invade our personal space all the time. Most of us just deal, turning our frustrations into a hilarious inner monologue, and then we forget about it by dinnertime.
This girl might have been new in the city, but she was not new at subway drama. She was fully aware of what kind of shenanigans take place. She brought with her an ironclad cube, and now we’re just jealous we didn’t think of it first.
Genius in the Subway
A genius move worthy of accolades. Few would even think of it, let alone pull it off. He’s not disturbing anyone else. He’s simply hanging his head in this contraption he brought so he can enjoy a small nap on the way to the office.
That’s the thing with geniuses. While every other person will wake up with sore necks, he’ll be waking up with a smile. All because he took what looks to us like nothing more than a laundry bag and made a hammock.
Observing Protocol
This woman was taking no chances. To avoid being in contact with people, she drove her mini crosser right into the car. We’re just giving our two cents, but this woman is a trailblazer. She is definitely the boss of her own life.
We want to earn our stripes and she needs to be the one to teach us how to go through life keeping it real. We’re not going to start driving tiny cars around anywhere we please, but this is the energy we want to channel.
The Royal Duck
There is no seal or crown indicating this duck belongs to a royal family but look at how majestically it was carrying itself. No ordinary duck could command such presence. Even the famous and dignified like to feel like a regular duck every now and again.
And so he went on a little subway adventure for the afternoon. Unlike some of the other things we’ve seen thus far, this handsome guy turned quite a few heads. How could he not with his charm and fabulous feathers?
Pineapple Pet
We almost thought she had been robbed, that someone swapped her pet for a pineapple. That was before we saw her singing and cooing to it. Just kidding; we never actually saw that happen, but nothing could surprise us anymore.
In today’s world, what is considered a pet to some people is seen as food to others. The reverse can be true as well. We all have that friend with a million plant babies that they have named and have daily chats with.
Health is Wealth
This man was headed to a job interview but suddenly got a call that it was offered to someone else. Instead of getting upset, he pulled out his handy dandy table and had his lunch right then and there. What a man!
Here is another person who has his head on straight and knows how to use his time wisely. His table is small and out of the way, but he is able to eat calmly and without making a mess of his clothes.
Long way back Home
This cute little puppy usually took the subway home with her owner, but clearly, she was looking to find some simpler place and time on the midnight train to Brooklyn. And we trust her keen doggy senses got her home safely.
Imagine the glorious reunion between this pupper and her fur mom. New York City is an exciting city, and though we have no idea how they got separated, we are absolutely certain she got a kick out of her late-night train experience.
The Fifth Element
Bruce Willis’s classic movie from 1997 will always be a hit no matter how many times you watch it. Do you know how we know? Because people are still fangirling enough to dress up as an alien from the film, like this lady here.
It’s gotta be a fan. There’s no way an alien went shopping and decided to take the subway back home, unless they wanted an authentic earthling experience. However, if you see any unusual lights in the subway, don’t hesitate to call Homeland.
Another sci-fi fan
We know what you’re thinking. So are we. A fellow Sci-Fi fan! Whoever took this picture was clearly loving his homage to Alien, and when he noticed, he stayed completely calm and in character. Epic. These are our cosplaying goals.
What was up with him wearing it on the subway is a question with many answers, but only this guy could have answered. Our guess is the creature is guiding him to wherever it fancies. To a show, perhaps. Face-sucking aliens love the theater too.
Say NO
This man is another reason why you shouldn’t agree to a color war if you’re a sore loser. There is no real winner when you’re just horsin’ around with your friends, but he took it pretty hard when his team lost.
He was so upset that he left his shirt. And shoes. His friends definitely had his back – and the rest of his stuff – and after a thorough round of teasing, probably returned all his belongings and let him win at a game of poker.
Mr. Bright
Hats off to this man who went all the way across town to drop this lamp he picked out at Good Will for his grandma. He saw this classic piece and said to himself, “you know who would love that? Granny! her old lamp is busted anyways.”
Look at him, keeping a tight hold on his special gift while messaging his wife about why he’s going to be late for dinner. This is the kind of wholesomeness we like to see on our ride home after a long day at the office.
The Old school sleeping Technique
This older man has a habit of falling asleep everywhere he goes, and because of it, he has figured out how to get the most bang for his buck. Or rest for his snore. So when the lights were too much, he chose innovation.
Think about it; It’s not sleeping if you don’t see him sleeping. It might not be the best move, but it’s effective nonetheless. At least no one would dare go to his pocket. Not with him sitting upright like that.
With age comes Wisdom
The struggle to find a seat on the subway can be tough and intense. You can get shoved aside if you’re not strong enough. However, this older man was not ready to go through all of that stress. He’s prepared.
Rather than battle it out with explosive teenagers, he waited till the battle was over and all the seats were taken before walking in with his chair. They won’t admit it, but a lot of people felt stupid watching him sit.
The Mask
How she didn’t know she sat next to The Mask is beyond us. Who wouldn’t recognize The Mask? Especially when he’s smiling sneakily like that. Seeing as how he’s quietly sitting beside her, he must be up to something shady.
The Mask is never calm nor quiet, and if it is truly him, then everyone needs to get off the subway before he turns it into the Cartoon Network. The Mask loves cartoons, and he loves laughing a lot. We wonder how this ended.
Selling What in the Subway?
Surely you don’t really think that box is filled with sperm. Of all the places he could have gone to for sperm donation, he picked the subway. Why would anyone want to donate their sperm in the subway of all places?
Sperm donation is just a front; he’s actually a drug peddler, and only those doing drugs can get him to sell. They probably have slang they say to themselves. Let’s hope an undercover cop is waiting to bust him at the next stop.
Keeping his Daughter Safe
While most people are busy packing on awards, degrees, and milestones, this man is busy packing his daughter. As insane as this looks, we can’t blame him. He’s only trying to protect her and let her sleep. The subway can be a scary place.
Considering everything we’ve seen happening in the subway, bagging up your kids might just be the way to go. Plus, we all know that kids like to wander. If you’re not vigilant by keeping them in check, they could get lost.
My bees, man
We have to hand it to this guy. He really takes saving the bees seriously. Look at that impressive setup. It’s a shame he’s on the subway with it, though. What if it falls? We shudder thinking about that, honestly.
We have so many questions we will never get answers to because this guy booked it with his bees as soon as he got to his stop. Guess he needed some pollen for his hungry guys. You keep fighting the good fight, beekeeper.
All Hallow’s Eve
We love Halloween a lot, and apparently, this guy in New York does also. He’s really pouring his soul into this whole costume. This is the best live performance and of the passengers heard in a long time, we bet.
Is this Fiddler on the Wolf? Honestly, we don’t actually know if this was Halloween or not. Maybe this is just this guy’s aesthetic. We’re here for it, and we hope we run into him one day. But not during a full moon.
New style on the subway
You’ll meet all kinds of people on the subway, including the normal and the abnormal ones. It doesn’t take a genius to know which group this guy here belongs to. Yet again, everyone seems to be minding their business and ignoring him.
Just when we thought we had seen it all, a grown-up man on the subway puts on underwear on top of his jeans. Let’s hope there are no kids on board. You don’t want them picking up bad habits or asking uncomfortable questions.
Trust no one on the subway
Sometimes even your friend isn’t your friend. The door caught this young lady’s hair, and even though a bunch saw it of people, including her friend, they decided to have a laugh rather than inform her. She has to ride like that now!
The pain was excruciating, especially when the train moved. It was like her scalp was about to come off. People can be wicked for no good reason. We don’t know about anywhere else, but it’s every man for himself on the subway.
Be Careful who you smile at
It’s a rough world we live in. We know it’s hard to always be on your toes, but pay attention to anything suspicious and keep a low profile when around unfamiliar people. This man did the complete opposite of everything we just said.
Like you may already suspect, he was hanging and smiling around a person with very strange hobbies and habits. This picture of him smiling was the only thing the cops found when they got to the subway. Just kidding! He’s probably fine.
Remember to hold the rails
We know what it looks like but believe us when we tell you that he’s not doing yoga. He was, in fact, sleeping on his chair before the driver stepped on the brakes hard. This classy move was the after-effect.
It might look like a dope move from this angle, but this picture was gotten from the CCTV. It happened so fast, and the young man was taken to the hospital afterward. Moral lesson? Keep your hands on the rails.
The High Priestess
Some might disagree and call her a queen, but there is no way a queen would take the subway. Plus, we don’t think a queen would be going around with a bunch of fancy chopsticks sticking out of her hair.
Guess even a priestess uses the subway. Whatever happened to all those stories that they could fly? Unlike how she’s dressed, she seems to be embracing modernization more than we thought. She’s even using an iPhone to call her friends.
Hogwarts Express 9¾
The thing about magic is it’s hard to explain, and you don’t often realize it until it is too late. But still, you’d expect everyone to recognize Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, especially with his very long white beard.
What are the chances that you’d commute with the lookalikes of Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Professor McGonagall, and Dumbledore all on the same day? One out of a million, easily. They may have seen Voldemort, but at least not Umbridge!
The Night before Monday
We’re all this man, and this man is all of us. The thought of the next day being Monday can be very tiring. You just know that you’re about to enter a new week of limited sleep and rest. At least he’s ready.
Knowing fully well what awaits him in the following week, he decided to get the most out of every little time. It doesn’t matter if it’s on the subway or in an Uber; he’s ready to pass out. We salute you, pillow man.
Mirror of Truth
In this unusual scenario, we have an unlikely and unknowing hero. When he walked in with his mirror, he never knew he’d be saving someone with it. Who would have thought a mirror would be the one to save her from an embarrassing situation?
The lesson here isn’t to start walking around with mirrors, but it definitely helped this lady out. What we should learn from this is to check our skirts. It seems the guy who bought it is completely oblivious. Well, quiet heroes are much more admirable.